Apples Are Falling Out Of My Butt
by canadianfatcake
Summary: Every Victorious episode as seen through the eyes of Beck Oliver/ "I've got no secrets, and neither does my locker" Beck/Jade
1. Pilot

**Hey guys - I decided to write a new story :] mainly due to the impending Beck/Jade break-up this weekend :[ I just needed some nice Bade, so I wrote some myself. I hope to one day complete this story, so review and put it on alert ;]**

**Also I am English, so you're gonna have to ignore my English spellings :]**

Jade and I were sitting in my RV on a Friday night. It was the night of the Big Showcase at school, but I was so ill I could barely make it up off of the couch.

"Thank God you're ill," Jade deadpanned from beside me.

"Oh, thanks. It's always nice to know that your girlfriend cares for you when sick." I replied sarcastically and turned my head away from the TV to look at her.

"I didn't mean it like that." She shook her head dramatically. "I just mean I couldn't stand being at the Showcase tonight with Cat going mental every time someone comes on stage."

"Fair point." I coughed out. Cat could get too much to handle; to the point where Jade, who was an expert at dealing with her, couldn't take it.

"Get your germs away from me though. I don't wanna catch Beck Disease." She told me seriously as she pushed me away from her and then stood up.

"Ah, perfect." I started, "Can you grab my PearBook from the side?" I motioned to my laptop on the surface next to my TV. Jade turned around and looked at me with her pierced eyebrow raised. I put my arms up and mouthed '_what?_'.

"When you ask a favour of someone Beck, you say please." She replied in a patronising tone.

"Puh-leaseeee?" I teased her with a little smirk. She sighed loudly, but still traipsed over to my PearBook and picked it up. Turning around she threatened to throw it at me - I held my hands in front of my face and whimpered with my sore throat - but she didn't let go and laughed to herself.

"Loser." She said as she passed me my laptop and threw herself back down on the couch next to me.

I opened up the PearBook and logged straight onto theSlap - I had one notification, from Andre who had posted on my wall.

_**What's up, man? Where you been?**_

I looked at my watch and guessed that the Showcase must've been over. I rubbed my hands together and started to type a reply.

_**Sick. Jade's taking care of me.**_

Jade peered over my shoulder and ruffled my hair. "Aww, poor sick little Beck needs taking care of!" I merely rolled my eyes at her. A new notification appeared at the bottom of my screen so I clicked on it.

_**Oooh, sorry about that.**_

I winced as soon as I read it knowing Jade was too reading it.

"Unbelievable." She said as she yanked the laptop from my grip and placing it on her own lap. She then began furiously typing with a scowl on her beautiful face. This time it was me peering over her shoulder.

_**Hi, Andre. It's Jade. I'm sitting right next to Beck and NEWSFLASH: I know how to read.**_

"You know, maybe if you were nicer to people, they wouldn't be mean about you." I told her matter-of-factly.

"Whatever." She shrugged as she typed something else to Andre before slamming the screen shut and tossing the PearBook on the floor.

"You know, you could also not be mean to my stuff."

"Shut up and go to bed, sicky. I'm going home before I catch something nasty from you." She patted my cheek pretty hard before kissing me quickly.

"If you don't want to catch anything then don't kiss me."

"Whatever!" she called back as she exited the RV. I rolled my eyes for what felt like the millionth time that night, but that's what it's like being with Jade, and it's totally amazing. I took her advice and crept across the room on my hands and knees to my bed as I couldn't muster up the strength to get up.

Before I turned out the lights I texted Jade.

_**I'm gonna come round yours tomorrow, if I'm better. I'll text you tomorrow morning.**_

She should still be driving, but I know that she would reply within 10 minutes, so I waited for her reply before I switched off the light. And soon enough the reply came.

_**Sure, Cat's coming over for a bit, so I might be in a bad mood.**_

I laughed out loud at that. Truth be told, Jade and Cat were best friends and had been for a pretty long time; but Cat drove Jade crazy sometimes. It was then that I switched out the light and rested my head comfortably against my pillow, trying to get into a position which enabled me to breath through my mouth as opposed to my blocked nose.

Saturday morning I awoke feeling much better than I had the previous night, so naturally the first thing I did was grab by phone from next to my bed and texted Jade again.

_**I'm much better today so I'll be over in like an hour.**_

I rolled out of bed and landed on the floor with a thump. "Shit." I cursed as I landed on my school bag, which was lying on the floor.I threw on some new clothes and as I was pulling up my jeans I hopped into my small bathroom to brush my teeth. As I was brushing my teeth my phone started ringing playing Ginger Fox 'Number One' - Jade always berated me for that, but I liked it. Picking up the phone I saw it was said girlfriend ringing me.

"Hey babe, what's up?" I asked when I answered.

"Come over now - Cat's driving me insane." Jade begged. I heard a muffled 'phooey' from Cat in the background and smiled.

"Kay, just leaving." I picked up my car keys and left my RV.

It didn't take long to get to Jade's house, only about 10 minutes. When I reached her door I rang the doorbell and Jade's mum answered the door. Despite what many may think, she was a really nice person and in a way reminded me of Regina George's mum from Mean Girls; in personality, not looks. Not that I've seen Mean Girls or anything. Yeah.

"Hey Beck," she smiled widely at me, "Jade's in her room." I nodded at her and smiled back as I walked in past her and up the stairs to Jade's room. Opening the door I saw the weirdest thing ever. Cat was lying belly down on Jade's bed with Jade sitting on her back reading a magazine.

"Whatcha doing, Jade?" I asked when she looked up as I opened the door.

"Stopping Cat from moving." She answered emotionless looking back down at her magazine. I walked over to her and grabbed both her wrists and yanked her off of Cat.

"Thanks Beck," Cat said breathlessly, "I couldn't really breath very well then." Jade let out a small chuckle so I looked at her in disbelief.

All three of us then sat on Jade's floor; she and I were leaning against her bed while Cat was leaning against the door.

"Oh!" Cat cried suddenly. "I wanna show you a video of Andre's performance in the Big Showcase yesterday - I recorded it on my phone especially for you guys!" She pulled her pink phone from her pocket and loaded the video.

"Yeah right, like I want to listen to Trina Vega sing. Or wail - whichever best describes it." Jade murmured. I chuckled, because it's true. Trina Vega was talentless.

"Oh, no. Trina's tongue swelled up or something so she couldn't perform. Her sister did instead." Cat told them sincerely.

"Oh Jesus. There's another one? I bet she's ten times worse." Scowled Jade and I nodded in agreement.

"Actually, no. She was really good, like really good." Jade looked at Cat in disbelief and shock. "Her name is Tori," she held out her phone to me and Jade, "watch!".

Woah, she was really good, and the song suited her really well. Obviously the song was good as Andre wrote it.

"She's _okay_." Said Jade - which coming from her was definitely a compliment. "Not as good as me, of course!" I smiled and hugged her to my side.

"No way." I told Jade with a sincere smile.

"She's so good, and guess what?" Cat asked. Jade and I both raised our eyebrows as if to say 'what?'. "She's joining Hollywood Arts on Monday!"

It was Monday morning and I was running so late that I texted Jade and told her I'd meet her in school. She wasn't best pleased because it meant she had to walk the 30 minute walk instead. To make it up to her I decided to buy her a coffee, black, 2 sugars, just how she liked it to try and get into her good books.

I had improv first up so I walked down the hall to Sikowitz's room. My phone beeped just before I entered so I whipped out my phone and read my text - from Jade. However, before I could reply, I bumped into a girl and felt Jade's coffee all over my shirt. _Damn_, I thought, _I guess I'm staying in her bad books for now_.

Amidst the girl's frantic apologies and trying to get the coffee out my shirt, I noticed who she was. The new girl, Tori Vega. She was rubbing her arm up and down my shirt, which even I have to admit made me feel a bit awkward, when of course the situation was made worse.

"Dude! Why you rubbing my boyfriend?" I didn't even need to turn around to imagine Jade's disgusted face.

"Oh, I spilled coffee on him-"

"Get away from him!"

God she was so cute when she was angry; but nonetheless I still felt obliged to calm her down.

"Relax." I told her softly as I kissed her cheek, still hoping to weed my way back into her good books.

Later on in the lesson, after Tori had been introduced, Sikowitz had Jade pick some people for a quick improv scene. And Jade being Jade, she chose Tori as one of them. It was at that point where I began to fear what she had planned - I knew her better than anyone and she wasn't gonna let the shirt-rubbing slide.

Long story short, Jade poured iced coffee on her head. Jesus, sometimes I swear she can be so immature. When Tori ran from the room I had to talk to Jade. I grabbed her arm and pulled her off the stage to the corner of the room.

"What the hell was that?" I asked her exasperatedly. She just shrugged nonchalantly.

"I don't know what you mean, Beck."

"What?" I asked confused. "You just poured iced coffee on someone's head. Why?"

"Because she was rubbing you." I rolled my eyes.

"She spilt coffee on me!" I raised my voice slightly.

"Yeah, so I 'spilt' coffee on her, too."

"You're unbelievable, Jade." I sighed and walked back to my seat. Jade followed me, but didn't say a word. I honestly did feel really bad for the new girl. It isn't easy in the first place starting a new school, but have someone be so mean to you too?

I didn't really speak to Jade for the rest of the day, so I thought I'd be the bigger person and text her.

_**Hey babe, I'm sorry for being angry at you earlier, but couldn't you cut Tori a break?**_

I wasn't too sure how that would go down with her, but it was definitely worth a shot. Pretty quickly I got a reply.

_**About time you apologised.**_

I groaned aloud and laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling of my RV contemplating whether or not to text her back - I decided I would, and I would try and make her feel guilty about it.

_**Andre said that she's gonna quit. All because of you, Jade.**_

There was next to no chance of Jade feeling at all guilty, but there was a remote possibility. My phone beeped again.

_**Good.**_

Then again, maybe not. I sighed and closed the text message, showing the wallpaper on my phone. It was a picture of me and Jade from before we started dating so we were only like 13, but I did have a crush on her even then. She was looking at the camera smiling, yes smiling, and I was just looking at her. It was so cute - she rarely smiles care free these days with anyone else around.

I hoped that tomorrow everything would be normal - no Jade being weird and no Tori Vega for Jade to be mean to.

Well that wish did not come true, as Tori Vega walked into our improv class early on Tuesday morning. I have to admit, I was impressed with her courage to come back, so I smiled at her. I ignored most of Sikowitz's babble before Tori volunteered to pick for alphabetical improv.

"Andre, Cat, Beck, and Jade." I winced a little when she called out Jade, because let's be honest, it didn't bode well. As Jade stepped up onto the stage she quickly grabbed my face and kissed me; almost as if to mark her territory. That's fine by me though, she can mark her territory as much as she likes.

"Jade!" Sikowitz interjected, "Kiss your boyfriend on your own time."

She gave me and flirty smile, "Oh I will." God, I love her.

Half way through the improv scene I ended up on the floor as an alien who'd fainted. Cat and Andre were already out which left Jade and Tori. Of course, they were throwing insults at each other.

"Eat your pants!" Tori yelled.

"You eat your pants!" Jade retaliated, before she noticed her mistake. "Wait!"

"Sorry Jade, the next letter was-"

"F, I know!" She yelled back at Sikowitz before stomping over me and off the stage. I decided it was a positive thing that she didn't kick, stamp or tread on me. I then felt Tori grab my arm.

"Get up, alien." She said.

"Head, dizzy." I replied, still very much in character.

"I know what will make you feel better." She said to me with a flirty smile on her face, which I brushed aside.

"Jumping Jacks?" I tried. As if I didn't know where she was going with this.

"Kiss me."

I had a fraction of a second to decide my reply, what I would do. On one hand, it was acting and I took my acting very seriously. On the other hand, Jade was in the room watching and let's say I wouldn't appreciate it if she kissed some random guy on stage. However, she was being so rude and mean to Tori and this was obviously revenge on Tori's part - seeing as I couldn't manage to teach Jade a lesson myself, maybe I would aid Tori in doing that. No I couldn't do that.

But before I could rationalise my decision, my mouth was moving without my brain's permission.

"Little weird. Let's do it."

_What the fuck. What did I just do? _I asked myself as I pulled away from Tori. The whole class was clapping our performance - bar one person. Jade. She looked so hurt - more hurt than I've ever seen her, that's for sure. She leapt out of her chair with such a force that it was knocked backwards and then stormed out of the room.

Naturally I quickly followed her ignoring the protests from Sikowitz. There were a few places that Jade went when she got angry in school - the girls bathroom or the janitors closet. I thought it would be best if I tried the janitors closet first, avoiding the girls bathroom at all costs.

Speeding down the hall, I peered inside the closet and Jade was nowhere to be seen. So I groaned inwardly and made my way across the hall to the bathroom. I subtly glanced left and right to make sure no one was looking and I took a step into the room. It was completely empty, even the cubicles.

I leant against the wall before slowly sliding down it and eventually sitting on the floor. It took a lot not to start crying, to be honest. And Beck Oliver does not cry at just anything. But before my body could muster any tears, someone entered the bathroom.

"Beck?" Cat's innocent voice carried across the room. "What are you doing in the girl's bathroom, silly? You're a boy."

"Because I'm an idiot, Cat." I told her solemnly.

"Yes, you are. You're in the girl's bathroom."

I got impatient. "That's not why!" I raised my voice at her; which I immediately felt bad for as her eyes widened and eyebrows shot up in confusion. "I'm sorry; I'm just really pissed off at myself." Cat nodded in understanding. "I came in here because I was looking for Jade."

"Oh, I just saw Jade go outside." Cat said cheerily. I looked up at Cat when she said that and then got onto my feet as quick as my body would allow me and exited the bathroom.

Walking out the front door of Hollywood Arts I saw Jade sitting on the front steps leaning against the railings. Her face was hidden from me by her hands. I tentatively stepped closer to her before sitting on the step next to her. She still didn't move her hands from her face though.

I moved my left arm to put around her shoulders, but as soon as I made contact with her she shrugged me off.

"Don't Beck. You're just gonna make it harder for me." Jade said, but in such a weak and feeble voice that I could barely recognise it.

"Make what harder?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"Breaking up." She said, her voice cracking slightly. I was shocked now.

"You want to break up with me?" I asked, fearing the worst. It was then that she took her head out of her hands and looked me straight in the eye. Her eye make up was smeared down her face, so it was fairly obvious I made her cry. The only other time I'd made Jade cry was when I pushed her off my bed when we were 14 and broke her arm.

"Of course I don't! But you obviously do!" She shouted at me.

"No I don't!" I insisted. "Listen, that kiss with Tori was just acting I swear!"

"But it wasn't necessary, Beck." She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and I just melted. I couldn't believe it was me who had caused her this pain.

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Honestly. I think it was a part of me wanted to help Tori get revenge on you." I frowned at how the words sounded as they came out of my mouth, before Jade could respond, I added, "I can see now that she is manipulative and was very clever in turning that scene against you; maybe now you won't do things that make people wanna hurt you." I told her sincerely, placing my arm back around her shoulders, which she didn't shrug off this time, so I must have been getting somewhere.

"Oh, so you wanted to hurt me. Nice, Beck, you're a really great boyfriend." Jade said venomously.

"You know as well as I do Jade, that I never want to hurt you."

"Well it's too late, because you just did 10 minutes ago."

"Jade, I don't know what I can do to say sorry. You know you mean the world to me and I love you so much. No one is ever going to come between us. I swear." I buried my face into her hair and smelt it.

"Promise?" She asked.

"Promise."

"Not even Tori Vega?" She asked, one hundred percent seriously.

"Especially not Tori Vega."

She nodded at me and stood up, grabbing my hand as she did so.

"I'll believe you, for now. But don't you go thinking I'm gonna be all happy with this chick. She needs to be taken down a peg or two." I sighed as Jade dragged me down the steps.

"Fine." I told her. "Where are you taking me?" I asked, a little confused.

"_I'm_ not taking _you_ anywhere. _You're_ taking _me_ to go and get coffee."

I laughed. "Sure thing, babe." Then I kissed her, which she didn't react well to.

"Fucking gross, Beck." She wiped her mouth with her sleeve. "You trying to get Vega saliva in my mouth? When you get home your brushing your teeth at least 4 times before you kiss this." She said as she motioned to her face.

"Anything for you, babe."

**There you go :] it was a particularly tough episode to do, seeing as I hate it. The way Beck acts in that episode is ughhhh!**

**Also, you guys should be proud because that's the longest chapter I've ever written :]**


	2. The Bird Scene

**Hey guys :] I know it's been a while, but I have got a pretty big chapter here :]**

**Let's say for this, that Jade's locker has been next to Robbie's since the start, not since Wok Star.**

It was the following Monday to when Jade and I had our little setback involving Tori, and we had had an uneventful week, which involved little to no arguing - and that was always rare with Jade around.

I was sitting in the Asphalt Cafe, looking questioningly at my burrito purchased from the Grub Truck, not that I was surprised - food bought from Festus was always a bit suspect. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone sit down beside me. Looking to my left I saw that it was Katie from my theatre history class.

"Hey Beck," she said sweetly sliding closer to me. "Whatcha doin"? Eating a burrito? If you want you c-' Luckily Jade came along and shoved her off the seat.

"Back off Katie - go mack on someone else's boyfriend!" She yelled as Katie's butt hit the floor.

Sitting where Katie had just been, Jade slammed her ravioli down on the plastic table before reaching over me to grab my coffee. She began drinking it gulp by gulp before handing it back to me; empty.

"Hey Jade, you want some of my coffee?" I asked her sarcastically.

"I think you're all out, babe." She replied seriously, so I just stared at her for a moment in disbelief. Shaking my head slightly I went back to examining my burrito while Jade munched cutely on her pasta dish.

"Oh," she suddenly said with a mouth full of food, "you wanna sign up for salsa dancing?" I swear I nearly fell off of my seat.

"Salsa dancing? Ermm, why?" I asked dumbfounded.

Jade just shrugged, "Well we have to take some form of dance class and seeing as Tori signed up for street dance, I want neither you or me there, and I think Salsa dancing is the next best." Then it was my turn to shrug.

"Sure, whatever."

"Jesus Beck, you're starting to sound like me."

"Eh."

The following day I was sitting in improv watching Jade and Cat do a scene - it always amazed me how seriously my girlfriend took her acting and always impressed me how Cat could act like a normal human when acting.

"Betsy, Betsy! That animal's delicious flesh can keep us all alive for another week!" Jade exclaimed motioning to a huge stuffed pig Cat was holding.

"But I don't wanna be alive without Poncy, that pig is everything to me that my daddy never was, and I'll be ding-dang-" Cat's ramble was cut off when she was hit in the face with a green ball. Confused I swivelled around in my chair to where the ball had come from. No real surprises when I saw Sikowitz standing there.

"Sikowitz!" Jade shouted.

"What?"

"You hit me in the face with a ball!" Cat whined as she got up from the floor with such a force she almost sent Jade flying; who seemed unfazed.

I honestly admired the friendship between Jade and Cat. We were all at the same middle school together, but they already knew each other from before then. In all honesty, if Jade was told to chose between me and Cat, she'd probably choose Cat in a heartbeat! My random thoughts were cut off my the school bell ringing.

"Oh lunch, YAY!" said Cat as she pranced off the stage and out the door, Jade following closely behind her.

As I got out of my chair I saw Tori who was sitting behind me during the class. She and I had cleared everything up with each other since last week's happenings and she was a new friend.

"Hey, you wanna come to lunch with us?" I asked her politely, thanking myself inside that Jade was out of the room, as she would probably have castrated me had she heard my offer.

"Uh, yeah-" But before Tori could finish her sentence, a green ball narrowly missed her face a smashed into the wall. I didn't even have to turn this time to know that it was again Sikowitz who was the thrower.

"What was that for? I'm not acting right now!" Tori exclaimed.

"We need to chat."

"And 'Tori I need to see you' wouldn't have worked?" Andre and I took that as our cue to leave.

"Have fun!" Andre told her.

"Protect your face!" I joked as we exited the classroom and I looked around the halls for Jade.

I couldn't find Jade so I pulled out my PearPhone and dropped her a text to tell her I'd be eating lunch with Andre and Robbie. I got a prompt reply from her as I sat down on the plastic table.

_**Okay, I'm with Cat anyway. She's going on about some sort of electric toothbrush she bought at the weekend.**_

I smiled as I read her message, if anyone else tried to talk to Jade about such a trivial item, I'd be at their funeral next week, but not Cat. I put my phone back in my pocket and took a sip from my janked up coffee. The Jet Brew stand was shut so I had to make do with some shit coffee from a vendor that dressed like Sikowitz and smelt like Sinjin.

"You know where I could buy a pair of ballet slippers?" Andre asked totally seriously as he took a seat next to me. My eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"No I don't,' I told him honestly, 'But I know where you can get yourself a pretty skirt and some lip gloss.' _Because Jade made me go shopping with her at the weekend_, I added in my head. They didn't have to know that much.

'Ha ha, that was a good one, Beck.' Rex said as Robbie held up his hand for a high five, 'Lip gloss.' I stared at Robbie until he dropped Rex's hand back down to the table. Don't get me wrong, Robbie's one of my best friends, but he was a little weird to say the least. What kind of 16 year old guy still has a puppet? Not to mention Jade says she's one hundred percent sure he has some form of crush on me - but looking past all that, he's an OK guy.

"Why do you need ballet slippers?" I asked Andre, still totally confused by the situation.

"'Cause I signed up for ballet." He told me as if it was obvious.

"Wait,' Robbie interjected, 'Isn't that kinda girly?" Ha, good question from the guy who wears male make-up.

"Yep! A whole room full of girls," Andre replied, "And me." He added. "You guys picking up what I'm putting down?"

I chuckled a bit - Andre was such a ladies man. "I am."

"Yeah, pretty smooth!" Said Rex.

"I don't understand." Finished Robbie. Was he serious? I took it upon myself to make it clear to him.

"A lot of girls. Who dance. All in one room. With him." I pointed at Andre.

"Oh!" He said as if he knew it from the start. I rolled my eyes at him as I would at Jade's antics. "Would you mind if maybe I signed up too?" Robbie asked tentatively.

"Sure, go for it." Andre told him and then turned to me, "What about you man?"

I shook my head. "Can't," I began. "Me and Jade already signed up for salsa dancing."

Robbie started talking about how he can't eat salsa; or something along those lines, but I was distracted by my lunch and decided to eat it quickly and them go and find Jade.

Turns out I didn't need to as a mangled piece of plastic was slammed down on the table next to me and soft lips collided with mine.

"Gross Beck!" Jade exclaimed. "Why do you taste funny." I screwed up my face at Jade as if to say 'what the fuck?'.

"Huh?" I asked. Jade chewed on her lip for half a second before eyeing the coffee cup on the table.

"That yours?" She asked as she pointed at the cup.

"Sure is." She picked up the orange cup before swallowing some of its contents.

"Holy fuck." Jade cursed as she spat as much as she could out on the tarmac. "I guess that's why you tasted funny." She sat down next to me and leaned on me. "Why do you have foul tasting coffee?" She asked me innocently.

"Because Jet Brew is shut." I replied honestly. "Why do _you_ have a smashed up electric toothbrush?" She turned her head towards me and buried it in my shoulder.

"Atwathfryintorushmyeeth." She mumbled into my shirt. I let out a chuckle.

"What was that now?" I asked as a push her head off of me.

"Cat was trying to brush my teeth." She said simply. "So I took the goddamn brush and threw it at the wall." She trailed off as she noticed my condescending look. "I don't wanna talk about it." She told me sternly as she nonchalantly picked up a handful of fries from my plastic plate; I slapped her hand away, but that didn't stop her from shoving them all in her mouth at once and then sending me a cheeky smirk. I then pulled my plate out of her reach and placed my arm around her shoulders as I made conversation with Andre about his ballet class.

It was Tori's time to tackle the Bird Scene; and I didn't envy her one bit. Of course, I had nailed it first time, as had Jade; but it still wasn't the best experience.

I had put everything I had into my performance; with alternate lines that the guys got ("it was 1934 when my _wife_ left me"). When I had finished I simply told Sikowitz: "There's my scene; I'm pretty happy with it." and then sat back down in my chair.

Jade, on the other hand, had delivered the scene perfectly, waltzed of the stage and asked Sikowitz: "So when can I audition for the play?"

We were the only people in our current class who had passed first time; Cat, Andre and Robbie had all asked if they'd done it right. _Well_, in Robbie's case, Rex was actually the one who asked, but same difference it took him a good 3 more times to pass; I still firmly believe Cat told him the secret though.

Jade sat in the chair in front of me as Sikowitz told Tori to get up on the stage; some guy who clearly fancied Jade had sat where I would sit next to her, but she didn't seem to care so I just left it.

Tori stood in front of the class on the stage, "Uh, can I ask you a quick question first before I start?" She pleaded, which resulted in Jade letting out a loud prolonged groan while throwing her head back, which caught me by surprise and I stifled a laugh - she was such a drama queen.

"Just do you best." Sikowitz told her and she began her scene.

To Jade's delight, Tori failed the Bird Scene and was seriously confused about it. After Sikowitz dismissed us from class, Jade grabbed my hand to pull me up from my chair and we exited the room behind Cat, Robbie and Andre. Tori was following us whining about the scene. Jade turned around to face her, still holding my hand.

"Face it Vega, you suck!"

I laughed a bit and bumped her hip with our intertwined hands as if to tell her to 'shut up'.

"I do not _suck_!" Tori said indignantly.

"Whatever." Jade deadpanned as she turned back around and we turned the corner into the main hallway. Tori continued to moan about the Bird Scene, so we were all moaning back at her.

"Come on!" Tori exclaimed, so we all stopped by her locker and turned to look at her. "How am I supposed to do the scene right if no one will tell me what I did wrong? I thought you guys were my friends?"

"_I'm_ not your friend." Jade said as she slid her hand down my arm to grab my own hand and drag me over to the drinks machine, away from all Tori's whining.

When we reached said drinks machine, Jade looked up at me with wide eyes.

"What?" I asked her, shrugging my shoulders. That resulted in her jutting her bottom lip out and making her eyes go even wider; which resulted in _me_ rolling my eyes and shoving my hand in my back pocket to retrieve my wallet. I pulled out a dollar and stuck it in the machine while Jade smiled cutely and pressed the Wahoo Punch button. I leant against the machine as she bent down to pick up her can, and when she came back up to my level she quickly kissed me. Something I noticed she does instead of saying 'thanks', but I'm not gonna argue with that…

To be honest, in the two years Jade and I have been going out, I don't think she's ever bought a drink herself, always with my money; and at a drink a day for 2 years, that's like, $700. The things I do for this girl.

"Guys, my problems!" Tori exclaimed.

Jade and I started to walk back over to the group. "Number one rule of the bird scene," I began and they all looked at me, "No one's allowed to help you."

"_No one_." Rex clarified.

I leant with one arm on the wall next to Jade as she looked at Tori's sparsely decorated locker.

"So _this_ is what you did with your locker?" Jade asked clearly unimpressed.

"Yeah." Tori answered quite proudly. "It's a dry erase board with colourful pens so anyone can write or draw whatever they want." She explained to us. I shook my head slightly.

"But you're supposed to decorate it yourself." I told her.

"It's a Hollywood Arts tradition." Cat contributed and Tori turned around to face her. When Tori's back was turned, Jade thrust her Wahoo Punch can at me and I had no choice but to hold onto it. She smiled deviously as she grabbed a dry wipe pen from the little pot and wrote 'stupid' across Tori's locker. I rolled my eyes at her antics, but had to chuckle as she turned back around and held out her hand for me to hold so I laced our fingers together.

"No stupid." She said, "I want my drink!" She whined. So I brought the can up to my lips and drained the last of it off myself and chucked the can in the trash before shooting Jade a cheeky smirk. "Beck!" She exclaimed as we reached her scissor covered locker. I just looked at her innocently so she rolled her eyes and opened her locker while I leant against Robbie's strange, but also kinda comfy, locker.

"You ready for some salsa dancing?" She asked me as she took a book out of her back and placed it neatly in her locker. I screwed up my face at her.

"I don't wanna go." I told her honestly. "Can we skip?" I asked teasingly. Jade hated skipping school, contrary to popular belief she was a very good student who rarely missed class and always obtained the highest grades. She was also secretly a Chemistry nerd. I, on the other hand, was pretty hopeless at anything academic and was lucky I was so good at acting that I still had a decent career plan; unfortunately I have no back up, unlike Jade. Not that she'll need a back up, of course. She's destined for stardom. Wow, cheesy.

"Ugh, fine!" She gave in. "But I'm not doing your science homework for you now." I frowned.

"Can I still copy yours?" I asked hopefully.

"You wish." She said as she slammed her locker shut and dragged me out the front doors into the car park.

The following day I was walking towards Sikowitz's classroom for an improv lesson, I had just come from my history class and was meeting Jade in the classroom as she had a free period before hand. I pushed open the door and saw Tori prepping for the Bird Scene.

"So you ready?" I asked her kindly rubbing my hands together as Jade came over to me and put her hand around my neck on my shoulder.

"I'm way past ready." Tori replied with confidence. "Sikowitz wants the Bird Scene, I'm gonna give him the Bird Scene." I raised my eyebrows at her enthusiasm, "I got props, a backdrop and just to kiss up a little -" she bought 2 coconuts up to her chest, "I even bought Sikowitz two large coconuts."

I motioned to the brown objects in her hands, "Those are good ones." I knew that would wind Jade up, so I chose not to look at her after I said it. Walking away from the conversation I sat in my chair when Jade plopped herself down next to me and leaned against me, so I put my arm around her naturally. That's when Sikowitz entered the room theatrically and jumped onto the stage.

"We have much to do today!" He exclaimed, "But first," He threw his bag down, "Tori, the Bird Scene."

During the duration of Tori's performance, I definitely heard the odd prolonged sigh escaping Jade's lips, which was honestly cute in a way.

"So did I get it right?" Tori asked hopefully at the end of the scene, which resulted in my grimace at the fact we'd have to waste even more lesson time watching it again.

The lesson passed without much going on and soon the bell went for the end of class, I stood up from my plastic chair and held my hand out for Jade to take and when she did I pulled her up off of her chair.

"What you want for lunch?" She asked me as we walked out of the door into the hallway. I rose my eyebrows in shock.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Because I'm gonna buy it for you." She replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I stopped walking and Jade turned around to look at me when our hands came apart.

"Why?" I repeated.

"Because," She walked back towards me and grabbed my hand again, "You always buy me stuff," I nodded my head vigorously in agreement which resulted in a scowl aimed towards me, "and I'm in a good mood because Vega failed the Bird Scene, _again_."

"Fair enough," I shrugged. "I want a burrito please." She nodded and stopped to get something out of her bag; handing me a chemistry text book she asked:

"Can you shove this in my locker, while I slave away and get your lunch?"

"Oh yeah, _you're_ the slave." I said sarcastically.

"Glad you agree." She walked off in the direction of the Asphalt Cafe and I smiled as I watched her walk away. When she was out of sight I turned around and headed towards Jade's locker.

She had told me the combination to her locker about 3 weeks after we had started dating for this precise reason - so I could do her dirty work for her. I opened the scissor covered locker and placed her book haphazardly inside, something I knew Jade would complain about later, but I loved to wind her up. I smiled widely when I caught sight of a photo of me on the inside of the locker door; every time I did something to annoy her, she would take a pair of scissors and pierce a tiny hole somewhere on my body. Before Tori had arrived, there were a few holes in the photo, but not many; now, however, the whole side of the photo I was on was completely stabbed all over- I knew I had really angered her with the Tori thing. I made a mental note to get a replacement photo as my face was barely visible anymore, and that's clearly no good.

I saw Tori across the hallway at her locker when I shut Jade's. She seemed to be in a bit of a stress, so I decided to be a good friend and find out what was wrong, so I walked over to her and leant against the locker next to hers.

"Whatcha doin'?" I asked her cheekily as I clearly could see what she was doing.

"Angrily throwing books in my locker, can't you tell?" She asked me exasperatedly.

"Have you figured out how you're gonna decorate it yet?" I asked choosing to change the subject; everyone was getting a bit annoyed at Tori's ugly grey locker.

"Yes! Look I put a stripe on it!" She said motioning to the pink strip on her locker. "Did you see the stripe?"

I feigned a thoughtful nod. "I see the stripe."

"Well I don't know what to do." She whined. Seriously did the girl ever stop moaning?

"Why don't you do something, you know, creative and deep?" I tried to help.

"What did you do for yours?" She asked.

"Come on." I said as I motioned towards my own locker.

"Clear?" She wondered aloud.

"Transparent." I corrected. It took me a millisecond to figure that it meant the same thing, but whatever. "I've got no secrets, and neither does my locker." I remembered when I said the exact same thing to Jade, and she just laughed coldly and said:

"Yeah okay, Mr Canada." I honestly didn't understand what she had against Canadians.

Tori bought be out of my reminiscing, "Oh that is creative and deep!"

"Yeah." I shrugged.

"So anyway," she walked towards me, "about the Bird Scene…" I chuckled at her persistence.

"Later." I said and walked off to find Jade with my burrito.

My car was parked outside Jade's house and I was trying to decided whether I could be bothered to go to the door, or just wait for her to realise I was here. It was Friday morning, which was always when I caught Jade in the best of morning moods during the week, so I decided to just wait in my car. It wasn't long before the front door opened and Jade's mum and little brother came out; upon seeing me, Jade's mum shouted back into the house after Jade and then gave me a thumbs up. I returned her gesture with a smile, she then set off in her car, presumably to take her son to school.

5 minutes passed and Jade finally emerged from her house.

"Finally." I said after she climbed in the passenger seat.

"What?" She asked after she leaned across to kiss me.

"I come at the same time _every _morning, would it kill you to be ready by then?" I asked her with wide eyes as I began to drive towards school.

"I'm worth waiting for." She said simply as she started picking at her nails and put her feet up on the dashboard. Any other guy would moan about that, but not me, I was so good to her; she would probably beg to differ, mind you.

We walked hand in hand to our first lesson of the day which was improv with Sikowitz where we had to sit through yet another rendition of the Bird Scene from Tori. I, on behalf of everyone could say we hoped she got it right this time. Entering the classroom, the first thing we saw were disgusting curtains across the stage.

Jade groaned loudly. "What the fuck is she doing?" I bought my index finger up to my lips to quieten her down so Tori didn't hear. "Does she not get it?" She asked me.

"Clearly not." I shrugged.

"Well she's stupid." Jade chucked her bag down next to a chair which wasn't next to an unoccupied one, so I had to chose a chair else where. She walked back over to me and was just about to say something else when Andre and Robbie walked in looking in a sizable amount of pain. Jade and I just looked at them with bemused looks on our faces.

"Happy Birthday!" Sikowitz exclaimed as he too burst in the classroom. Don't get me wrong, he's a great acting teacher, but so totally mental that sometimes I can't comprehend it.

"Who's birthday is it?" Cat asked - someone else who's sanity (or lack there of) I cannot comprehend.

"Somebody's, _somewhere_."

"That's so true."

I took my seat in preparation to watch the Bird Scene yet again and blanked out the beginning until a real bird appeared from the window. I shook my head, Tori really did take it further than she needed to.

"You see the bird too, right?" I heard Sikowitz whisper into my ear from behind me.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Fantastic." He replied.

When the scene was finally finished, Tori ruined it for herself _again_.

"So did I get it right?" She asked and I saw Jade smirk from the corner of my eye.

"No." Sikowitz told her.

And that's when Tori finally got it; she began to shout at Sikowitz about how good her performance was and how hard she had worked. So I nodded appreciatively and started clapping, then everyone else joined in; even Jade. It was sort of an unspoken rule to be happy and gracious when someone passed.

"You just passed the Bird Scene!" Sikowitz exclaimed.

After we pretended to be elderly people walking on broken glass Tori spoke up.

"I have no chair."

"Here," Said Jade as she got up off her chair and came over to me and sat on my lap.

Tori smiled at Jade. "Thank you, Jade." She said sincerely and I swear I saw Jade smile from my lap; maybe she had finally put everything behind her.

Maybe.

**I hope you liked this :] it did take me a while! Haha**

**I hope to get 'Stage Fighting' done in a much quicker time than this was done! :]**

**I'd also love to hear what you think, so drop me a review :) **


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